by Peter Fritz Walter
I am presenting here an uncanny couple of coaching sessions that explain how through getting in touch and dialoguing with your various inner selves, you validate those inner voices, thereby giving power to your intuition.
What happens when you do that? You will develop yourself ‘from inside out’ and strengthen not your persona, or social mask, but the ‘I AM’ within you, your Unique Self.
This is how you build your true identity in life, and, as a result, build the psychic basis for manifesting your most cherished desires.
Session 1, 1
Do not be perfectionist
When you buy, let’s say, a box of cigars, you will often have one or two cigars that are broken. You just take them out and you see the leaf is broken and the cigar cannot be smoked because the taste will be very bad; and even environmental factors such as the humidity level in the shop or in your house …
What I want to say is … we are like cigars, we are not like cigarettes, we are not machines and we are not made by machines; we are human beings and we are made by human beings; we a nature.
This is very important, so important that I have to stress it here right at the start, because in our time of computers, of perfection, at whichever level, I have to remind you that if you take a perfectionist attitude toward yourself you will never ever make it. You will never accept yourself and you will never be happy!
Session 1, 2
Give yourself tolerance
Think of modern music, be it classical, be it pop music, there is always a striving for perfection, and remember yourself when the music is not perfect: do you listen to it, do you buy it? Don’t we ask for a very high level of perfection today—with everything, be it music, be it house machines, be it the quality of our staff? All this may be okay, but if you put up this standard of perfection, measuring yourself, judging yourself, you put yourself in prison eternally!
You have to free yourself from all that; you have to give yourself a lot of tolerance; you have to be patient with yourself, first of all!
Session 1, 3
Be yourself your first friend
You have to welcome every progress that you make, and on the other hand, you should never punish yourself for every progress that you don’t make! It is natural to progress, don’t forget that; it is part of our nature to advance, and not to retrograde (to go back), to go forward. But very often in life we are not aware of the steps we have made, and of the progress we make, and we have a feeling that everything is stagnating; we feel that we are standing still, and this in most cases is not true, it is just a subjective impression.
So, this is very important, for the whole work on yourself, for your whole progress in life, that you always think of giving yourself tolerance, and give it to others, too; but you can’t give it to others if you don’t give it to yourself first …
I know it’s completely different from what you ever heard in education, in your whole life, from your parents and all … but forget all that, and think of that only: Be Yourself Your First Friend! This is the start of your true life, and nothing else!
Session 1, 4
Communicate with yourself
And the second point logically is: how to get in touch with yourself, how to be a friend with yourself also in communicating with yourself.
Every communication with others is based upon how you communicate with yourself. If you do not communicate with yourself, you do not communicate with others, and you just live a closed life, a life behind barriers! Even if physically you are not in prison, and you are living in so-called ‘freedom’ … but you are not free, because you are not part of life, of a social life.
You can only communicate with others as far as you communicate with yourself, and you can only love others as far as you love yourself … so you have to begin with yourself, in every respect …
Session 1, 5
Practice inner dialogue daily
There is no scientific treatise and there is no religious book that teaches you the truth, your own truth. Your own Self is that teacher and you have to connect with this teacher in yourself, and therefore you have to communicate with yourself. It is so easy!
Now … how to do that? Is there a practical way to do that! Yes! It’s not theory what I am telling you, it’s not ‘philosophy,’ while it is part of philosophy. But the practicing of it is not philosophical: it is practical! It is a very practical thing, like, for example, you study Yoga, there is a philosophy behind Yoga. But what is the use of that philosophy if you don’t practice Yoga, and every day, and to a sufficient extent that there is a substance that is building up in yourself through this practice. The same principle applies for the inner dialogue; if you don’t practice it every day, the whole philosophy has no value for you.
Session 1, 6
Comply with the principle of prosperity
While I do not deny that there is a danger to do it, there is a challenge to do it, a big challenge. But the challenge is there for everybody; if you want to become a millionaire tomorrow, there is the same challenge, and there is still the same problem: nobody will give you this million in your hand; you have to get it through creativity, creative living and also through complying with the mechanisms of prosperity. There is a financial prosperity, there is a spiritual prosperity, and there is a prosperity in love also; and this prosperity in love is the result of acting out your desire in an appropriate way, in a way that does not kill people, in a way that does not torture people, but in a way that is, while it is not accepted in our Western world, is accepted in many other cultures, non-western cultures.
Session 1, 7
Accept and value your difference
The beginning is to recognize and to acknowledge your difference; it is your difference that makes you strong, that makes you unique! It is your difference that makes you a great person.
This very uniqueness is our strength, it is our privilege, it is our benediction! So, please accept that, so that I don’t need to repeat it in every session.
This is our alphabet, this you have to learn by heart, this is your basics, your mathematics!
Session 2, 1
Build your inner team 1/2
I would like in this second session come back to what I already mentioned in the first session: the importance of establishing an inner dialogue, a dialogue with all our inner entities.
Let me explain you a little more what I mean. Without becoming too technical, we have basically four or five inner entities: we have an Inner Child, we have an Inner Parent and an Inner Adult, and we have an Inner Critic.
The Inner Critic is the entity in us that is the most difficult to deal with; it is an entity that observes, an observer, an inner observer that is kind of set apart of the rest of life inside of us, that always has a very critical and sometimes neurotical opinion about our thinking and acting. It is deadly for every creativity, it is deadly in general, to listen to this inner critic. And most people do that without being conscious about it.
Most people even are not conscious about their inner dialogue as such, and if you tell them, they will say that they never had such inner dialogue, while it is scientifically proven in the meantime; the same for dreaming, we dream, and we have inner dialogue ongoing! If you accept or acknowledge it or not, but it’s a fact …
Session 2, 2
Build your inner team 2/2
How to establish this inner dialogue? It’s to relax first of all, to have a moment every day, and maybe more than a moment, to just open up to yourself, to let the different entities in yourself talk to each other. This can be done non-verbally also, it can be done through spontaneous art, through spontaneous composing, it can be done also through writing down dialogues or fantasizing dialogues in your mind without fixing them in any way …
What I recommend you is, at least in the beginning—because I went through all that and I can testify for it—is to fix it in writing, at least for a certain period of let’s say six month or one year; then you may continue by doing it in a daily form of meditation or ad-hoc, but in your mind. You don’t need to write it. But you have to learn the mechanism of it. The same as when you play piano, you have to practice piano a certain time. Maybe after about ten years of practicing, you have reached a certain standard of perfection, manually and in your mind that you have established a certain standard of perfection that you only need to let’s say, to refresh, but you don’t need to practice anymore eight hours per day as in the beginning …
Session 2, 3
But these shifts, these changes, you can only do in your life once you have done your homework, once you have established the dialogue with all the entities in yourself, once you have communicated the needs you have, and you have setup your life in a way to program yourself to realize to fulfill these needs. And, I don’t want to be tautological when I say you have to program yourself. This is something you cannot split off my whole teaching, it is just an essential part of it.
I believe that we have the responsibility to program ourselves. If you don’t program yourself, others program you, and society programs you. This is sure.
So, either you don’t do anything and you are programmed by others, or you begin programming yourself systematically, in a positive way, in a way that ensures the satisfaction of your own desires.
Session 2, 4
Do not compromise
Dare to be yourself! Do not compromise! Do not go for social meetings where you think you have a small profit. Forget it! Go for the big profit, always, and the big profit you have it only when you have a big investment.
That is in business the same as in love. And … I am a business man and I can tell you business and love have much in common.
I was not always a businessman, I was an academic, but interestingly, the more I have realized my love, the more I developed my capacity for business. Because the academic career left me totally frustrated, unfulfilled, bitter even, because I had no reward until today for the real achievements that I have made.
Forget about it! Not important. What is important is the work we do together, where I try to coach you. It’s a systematic work, it’s not just fooling around. It’s not just telling you I’m your friend and that you are a nice person, and all this bullshit. I don’t fool you for your money. What I have to offer you is a really concise system, and I have trademarked it ‘Selfbuilding.’
Session 2, 5
Your inner voices reflect voices in society
What happens when you communicate with yourself? You become aware that you have different voices inside of yourself, and that these voices are also representations for voices that you find in society. For example, you will see that the voice of your Inner Critic is very similar to the voice of those bitches that you confront on the Internet, or anywhere. I mean those life-denying world-paranoids and those idiots who lead moral wars and produce a kind of hate stuff, who live lives without love, only driven by hate!
Do not despise these people, because you also have a part in you who is like that, and it’s your Inner Critic. These people are driven by their Inner Critic, they are very poor people, they are people who need to be pitied but not to be hated or despised. These people cannot be happy, they are eternally punished. So just be generous with them and tell them, really like Jesus said, I love my enemies. It is the best way to handle them, really. Because doing this on the outside level, there is a feedback inside of you which will have a very positive impact on the relationship with your Inner Controller. You will see when you do that, I mean when you pardon your enemies, your Inner Controller begins to weaken, begins to fall off, begins to decline, and its power will reduce. It won’t be dominant anymore.
There are other ways, but this is the most effective. The cheapest way also, because it does not cost you anything to pardon your enemies …
Session 2, 6
Build awareness about power
So this is one of the reasons I do consulting today because I would like to help you avoid to be trapped by other people, and to live a life of unconsciousness, a life where you are manipulated like a dog on the line of its master, like where you have no autonomy over your life. This is my motivation.
And when you engage in this dialogue with yourself, you become conscious day by day, of the power mechanisms inside of yourself, and outside in social life, in the relationships between you and other people, and then again the group relationships, among people, within a nation, within a society. And you will become much more aware of how power is created and how power is acted out, how power is communicated, how power is assumed.
Power may be not a notion for you; maybe it’s a very alien word for you. It was for me at the time also. I thought power is something bad or abusive, or violent, or something … I did not assume my life, I did not assume my personal power. That was my problem that is maybe your problem.
Session 2, 7
When I tell you to engage in the dialogue with yourself, it is very important because it is about power that we are talking. Who has the power in your inner life, your Inner Controller, your Parent, your Inner Adult, or your Inner Child?
It is a fact that when in a team one assumes the total power, the team cannot function. And the same applies for our Inner Team. When in your inner team, one instance in yourself assumes total power, be it your Inner Child, your Inner Parent, your Inner Adult or your Inner Controller, you cannot be functional, you cannot be effective, and you will not be able to realize your desire, you will not be able to integrate and distill the substance of your inner life within a greater group and society.
That means you remain powerless. While when you have integrated it, then your power can be communicated and can be realized, in a socially acceptable way. It is really about power that we are talking, personal power!